So yesterday and today have been really fucked up. I don’t know where to even start. Yesterday was John’s birthday…fuck me right?! Y’all should know me pretty well by now to know that I contacted him. FUCKING FACE PALM. I am not sure what possessed me to do so. I was in the shower jamming out when I realized what day it was. I immediately started crying. I debated for a good while if I should contact him or not. My fucking demons always win. Actually you know what, I am wayyyy to drunk for this right now. And I am waiting on NAMB to get here. Which is another issue. Well not really an issue. Just a good topic. I willlllll be back. Maybe tonight. Maybe tomorrow. IDK.