SWIPER NO SWIPING…LEFT OR RIGHT?!

So things did not work out with TaDOW. From this point forward we are calling him bd–BIG DISAPPOINTMENT. I had seriously gotten my hopes up with him. I don’t understand how someone can be so into you then drop off the face of the Earth. bd finally talked to me a couple weeks ago. His excuse for not responding was that I already seemed really mad and he didn’t want to deal with it so he kept ignoring me. All I could do was laugh. I have never in my life had someone be so much of a ballsack toward me. I never sent him anything rude, mean, out of line, or angry for that matter. Asking for a conversation about what is going on is not angry. How about you stop being a little cunt bitch, be a man and talk to me? After getting the run around, zero answers, and just a complete shit conversation, I told him I was going to just move on and leave him alone. Mind you, all this happened on snapchat. Are we in junior high or in our 30’s? I have never been so embarrassed before. Okay okay…maybe I have. But this is up there in the top five for sure.

I kept him on my snap like the petty person I am though. bd will see this GLOW UP! I don’t know what his reasonings were for acting the way he did, but it isn’t my problem anymore. He will send me random messages like he did before we started talking and I just ignore them or say something very smartassy. He did end up saying that my version of events weren’t correct, but I am smart enough to know he was deflecting. He also had the audacity to tell me I wasn’t consistent and when I asked how he ignored me. I honestly hope he finds some sort of happiness. I have to feel sorry for someone that is clearly very unhappy in life. That is the only explanation for him acting shitty towards me when I didn’t do a damn thing.

The one thing I can say I am happy about is the fact we did not have sex. I usually get very attached when I have sex with someone I like. Can ya’ll imagine? I would’ve went off the deep end. I can’t lie and say I’m not sad about the situation. I let it consume me sometimes and I know that is unhealthy. I think about that and then immediately wonder if I will ever be happy with someone or be alone forever.

I recently got Tinder again because I am a glutton for punishment. Of course bd was on there and me being the stupid bitch I am, I swiped right. He did too and that pissed me off even more. You give me the excuse you can’t talk to me because you’re so stressed with work and busy, but you have time to swipe on tinder. Makes sense.

Swiping left and right is old. It brings zero joy to my life. I was fine when I was 24 and had a will to live. I am about to be 31. I am single, drowning in debt, drive an old car, and getting fatter by the day. BUT, I can change all that… and I will. I have no one stopping me but myself.

Anyway, back to Tinder. I have had quite a few matches and they are all so gross. The pick up lines. The desperation. The pushiness. I have unmatched a good bit of them because of their AUDACITY. I make it clear what I am looking for and they still have the nerve to step to me like uncultured fucks. So, I save all of us some time and unmatch. What in this world makes you think I want to send you a picture basically of my uterus when I don’t even know your last name? BYE!

As far as bd, I am not over it. I am hurt. I am upset. I am tired. I know that one day I will get over it. I know I need to start by deleting him from all my social media, but like I said, I want him to see this glow up.

He will come crawling back like five of my exes recently have.

I hope ya’ll are staying safe during COVID and being nice humans toward one another.

This world needs all the love right now.

 

XO Vanessa

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VANESSA IS BACK

Oh my God. Where have I been?! I totally been MIA! Just to catch you all up to speed, I got Tinder back. Romeo invited me to a Halloween party two weekends ago, and I got punched in the face by a guy.

So first things first. Romeo invited me to his brother’s annual Halloween bash. It was nice. I slept at Romeo’s and I refused to have sex. FUCK HIM. I am just over his shenanigans. I am sick of wasting my time on him. OH the best thing, this past Thursday I see him whenever I am out with my dad. He is talking to my dad and what not. When he walks away I told my dad that he is the guy that bailed on me for the 38 Special concert that next night. My dad asked if we were dating, blah blah blah. Romeo messages me everyday but I keep my distance. I don’t feel like being hurt anymore.

I got my Tinder back and started talking to this fine ass specimen that we will call GTL. He reminds me of a guido from Jersey Shore, except he isn’t a douche canoe. He is meeting me tomorrow night here in town for dinner and drinks. I will keep you updated on that.

Saturday night I went out and a guy punched me in my face. Isn’t that lovely. So much for southern gentlemen here in the south hahhahahaha. I have a nice sore jaw.

OH!!!! and the greatest news of all! I put a deposit on a house to rent! Holla at ya girl! I finally got my own place! I call it the Pussy Palace!

Hopefully I can christen it soon.

XO Vanessa

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TO THE LEFT TO THE LEFT. OR TO THE RIGHT. JUST LEAVE ME ALONE, SIR.

I have totally been MIA lately. It was obviously Labor Day weekend and we had a festival going on in my town. More like a skank fest. Brings out the serious white trash of the community and surrounding communities. Anywho, Saturday night I went out. Met a couple of guys that were in from offshore. One was a swinger. LAWD lol. It was quite hilarious and interesting at the same time. I wasn’t really into them but they gave me their numbers. Cool. Drum Boy was there. His band was playing. He ended up bringing that skank girl with him. Eesh. She is tragic, but whatever floats his boat. I guess I just liked him because of the challenge. He can have his 40-year-old looking 21 year old. Yea, she is 21 and looks 40. GRODY to the max. 

Around 11ish I texted Romeo telling him I missed him. He texted me back the emoji with the kissy face and said he would leave the door unlocked for me. I left that bar so fast. I went home to bath and headed to Romeo’s. I got there and he was laying on the couch looking handsome…as usual. I laid next to him and he played with my hair and said I smelled like an ashtray because I hadn’t washed my hair. OOPS! He was fine with it though. I could tell he was a little liquored up so it didn’t matter.  

He started getting intimate and I told him I was not having sex on his couch because when he puts me in crazy positions I always end up super sore. So we went to his room. He turned on the extra fan for me while I undressed and got into his bed. 

We wasted NO time getting down to it. It was rough, sweaty, and sexy 😉 

Went to sleep for a bit then he woke me up by sticking his dick in me. Crazy positions all night. It is always interesting and never boring with him. Probably why I am so attracted to him. My little freak. 

He did put in some serious work. Even with two fans and the air on, he was sweating his ass off. literally dripping on me. Nothing sexier than two sweaty bodies fucking. It may sound gross, but it is amazing. 

I woke up around 6:30ish to go home. We cuddled a little bit before, I crawled on top of him to kiss his neck and he got up to walk me out. We talked all weekend which makes me super happy. It isn’t like usual where we wouldn’t talk for a few days. Maybe he is finally seeing the fucking light. 

He even sent me a selfie of him and his daughter Friday night. So adorbs. I can’t help but love the man. 

That damn L word. Speaking of…

LAWD! The drama the ensued Sunday after a post I made Saturday night after I left bar. 

I posted that I had met a swinger. Well one woman on there said something along the lines of me hooking up with him and I said “oh no girl, I have a boo.”

Guess who messaged me Sunday after seeing that? Sir.

He said, “you got a boo?”

I fucking lied and said no, I just didn’t need her in my business. 

UGH. I know ya’ll, I should’ve just told him. I just hate hurting people’s feelings but he should know the truth. 

Later that day he messaged me asking me to go to a wedding. I didn’t respond because I was getting ready to go out, and he sent me another message going off! So, in true Vanessa fashion, I went off too. 

He told me to fuck off, I needed to grow up blah blah blah. I told him the world doesn’t revolve around him and he needs to grow up. I am 25. He is 40. He sends dumb messages and I need to grow up? Right. After I went off on him he didn’t respond. FUCK HIM. 

He kept saying he didn’t deserve my bullshit. That was what really set me off. I had explained to him numerous times it wouldn’t work and that I didn’t want anything with him, yet he still pursued me. That was his fucking fault. I tried being nice, but he would say the most smartass, rude things, I just lost it. 

Hopefully that is the end of that. Lesson learned. Tinder guys are just fucking weird. 

Still have my Romeo though 😉

XO Vanessa

 

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WITNESS PROTECTION PROGRAM

Sir has been blowing up my phone since Monday night. WHYYY?!?!?! He is trying to use reverse psychology on me and it is backfiring. He is on my last nerve. He also told me he won’t stop chasing me. PSYCHO ALERT!!! I am just over him. He is putting all the blame on me. He told me I am scared, blah blah blah. Really? I am sure all of you can vouch for me on that one. He also called me a Tinder bopper. That is what set me off. I came right back at him. He is too old to be playing games like that. He is childish, immature, and dumb. Stupid fucker. But if he doesn’t stop, I may have to change my number and my whole damn identity. I don’t like it when people harass me, even if they are doing it because they “love” me. It just needs to stop. Thankfully he doesn’t have my address. At least I don’t think he does. 

Romeo has been sticking around lately. Not sure how long it will last. I came to the conclusion that my heart belongs to him. I can’t help it. He makes me happy when we are together. I know he is busy dealing with his kids and their extracurricular activities. I need to stop giving him a rough time. Plus he has been married twice. I don’t want to pressure him into a relationship. We decided we want to get together soon. We just didn’t make any set plans. So we will see what happens with that. 

I have a function to attend this weekend which requires to me bring a date. Okay, I’m not required, but I am surely not going alone. Instead of getting the balls to ask Romeo I asked my best friend Talulah to come with me. We always have a blast together! I plan on posting lots of pics on social media just to piss Sir off and to make Romeo miss me 😉 

I’m so mature. haha

XO Vanessa

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CHANGING IT UP

Texted Romeo this morning and he texted back something completely different from his usual “have a good day”. Caught me off guard really.

gross

 

Not sure where this is going but I guess I’ll go with it for now.

In other news, I got Tinder again… and so did Sir. Guess he couldn’t stay away from it either. Once I saw his profile, I quickly clicked the next button. I can’t believe he just wrote me off because of my sarcasm. I think he felt like he needed to be the ‘manly-man’ and have all the charm, wit, and sarcasm. I don’t think he was looking for an equal…

Anyway. Hopefully Romeo can work me out soon. I really miss his dick..I mean…him. I miss him. 

 

XO Vanessa

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YES SIR

I hope you all had a great weekend! I definitely did.

I had plans to go to New Orleans, but that didn’t happen. That rain was horrible and I need new tires so that was a no-go. I’m not even upset.

A few weeks ago I got a new match on Tinder. He gave me his number and all that jazz. Nothing special really. Well Thursday he messaged me out of the blue and we haven’t stopped since. Friday night was when I realized I really liked this man.

He is older (of course) has two kids, a nice job, FUNNY, and lives about an hour and a half away. VERY happy to meet someone outside of this small town.

So we have set a date to meet this weekend coming up. To say I am nervous is an understatement. Why am I so nervous? Because for the first time since April I haven’t thought of Romeo. I don’t know if it is because of the SOUTHERN GENTLEMAN or if it is because I know that I deserve better. Either way, it is a relief not to be worried about him. Sure, he is somewhere in the back of my head. Just happy he isn’t front and center. He doesn’t deserve that from me.In fact, he doesn’t deserve me at all. I will not wait my whole life for someone to figure out what they want and use me in the process.

Yes, his sex is AHHHH- MAZING! But there is more to me than just sex. I’m a deep, sensitive, emotional person. I need someone in my life that isn’t afraid of that.

I am trying not to get my hopes up about this new guy, but it is hard not to. He is charming, manly, sexy, funny, and the best part— completely focused on me. I haven’t had that in a long time. I don’t know how to act. I don’t want to ruin it! Usually I am on top of my game and like a prowess, but he makes me melt. Have I finally met my match? But what if he is trolling me? Can someone be that cruel? We actually have a friend in common on Facebook, my best friend Katherine (which is really weird). She hasn’t said anything negative and she has my best interest at heart so I know she would tell me if he was a troll or not. I guess we will see when I finally meet him Saturday.

Things are going great so far though. He even called to wake me up this morning. Ummm his voice is incredibly sexy.

I was racking my brain for a good name for him all weekend. It just hit me earlier. As weird as it sounds, I been calling him Sir. No I don’t have any crazy fantasies or daddy issues. I called him that once and it stuck. He is very authoritative though. NOT in a bad way but in a sexy, manly way. I like a man that makes decisions, is respected by others, and knows what he wants out of life and doesn’t settle for less.

I will keep ya’ll updated all week on our convos and such. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

FYI- masturbation is a lot more fun whenever you have someone talking sexy to you.

XO Vanessa

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IT’S A VICIOUS CYCLE

Well, you are all caught up on the adventures and sexcapades.

Since Tuesday night things have been awkward between me and Romeo. I texted him a bit Wednesday and Thursday, but not today. I’m sick of making myself too available for him. I’m sure this whole cycle will repeat in a few weeks, or days.

It makes me sad. It makes me sad that he has so much potential, yet won’t commit. It makes me sad that I KNOW he cares for me but is holding back and won’t tell me why. But most of all it makes me sad that I allow it. Is the sex really worth the emotional distress?

I want to say YES for the time being. I know, I know. It isn’t really healthy to care for someone so much that has no plans on committing any time soon. I want to move on and when I try, I compare everyone to Romeo. That is one reason why I know I am not going to get over him easily. Whenever I find the right guy, I am sure I won’t even think about Romeo and his amazing sex.

I just wish ya’ll could see how handsome he is… and the things he does in bed. LAWD YES! The kinkiness is real with him.

Tonight I have plans to hang out with a friend in New Orleans. I am just going to let loose, ease my mind, and let Romeo fall to the back of my mind.

I also have plans to soon to meet another match on Tinder. I am hoping he isn’t a trolling dick like the last one. I am keeping my options open obviously, but we all know my heart—and vagina—belong to Romeo.

XO Vanessa

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TINDER IS THE DEVIL

I have to put Robocop on pause to tell you guys what happened to me last night. I couldn’t make this up if I tried.

A week and a half ago I decided to download the Tinder app, just for kicks. I immediately got 30 matches. Big boost to my ego. Well, there was one guy in particular that I thought was pretty damn sexy, so we will call him Beefcake. We talked on the app for a while then eventually he gave me his number. Okay, cool. I found out he lives about an hour away from me. Again, cool. So since then, he was the only guy I talked to…from Tinder. I even deleted the app! Monday he texted me and said it is time we meet in person. I told him sure, but only in a public place because I don’t want to become a Lifetime movie.

He agreed. When I am telling you we talked all day every day, that is no exaggeration. He would even call to wake me up in the morning. Well, we decided to meet last night. I drove over an hour to meet him—which was obviously a damn mistake. I got out my car, he meets me outside, gives me a hug and says “let’s go to another place so follow me”. Well, I did. While I am following him, he texts me telling me to go home. I assumed he was joking because that was one thing we had in common, we joked a lot. He wasn’t joking. He was very serious. I’ve been rejected a few times in my life, but this?! WHAT!!!! He gave me no explanation. Deleted me off of Facebook. Didn’t answer my call. I only called him once because Vanessa chases after NO man, or little bitch in this case. And yes, I texted him telling him that was a dick move. Then I recanted that and said he isn’t a dick, he is a bitch!

No, I am no Gisele Bundchen, but I can hold my own. Not sure what happened, and I probably will never know. What I do know is that I drove home… in complete silence, feeling like the biggest idiot that ever lived.

I will now refer to Mr. Beefcake as Mr. Liver. Repulsive.

 

XO Vanessa

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